Just another quick update before bed….. Work has been going really good. I’m learning more and getting better with each shift. The hardest thing though is managing everything outside of it. I worked all day Sat and Sun, worked tonight till close and I’m opening tomorrow. I’ve been really tired and sore…. but it’s really worth it. Today my manager told me what I great job I’ve been doing. It’s really cool to hear that. It makes me feel good knowing I actually have a job I’m good at and that I can look forward to going to. I’ve already sold 3 hamsters, 2 rats, and fish since I’ve started. There’s still so much to learn though, and some things I need to get better at. Like tonight I had to catch a finch in a cage without a net….. I didn’t end up catching it. Those things are damn fast. Oh, and we’re getting a snake in later this week and I set up it’s habitat A customer came in asking questions about it tonight, which sucks a little. I was hoping to play with it for a while til it got sold lol. Well there’s always the dragons and rats hehe. Anyways I have to be up in 6 hours so byes for now.

I am so tired it’s not even funny…… yesterday was my first long shift (7 hours). It went really well but it was also really busy too. I sold two hamsters myself, learned how to clean tanks, helped customers with things on reptiles and cats, and stocked products. Oh yeah…. and I had to get 25 super worms and bag a lot of crickets. I was really glad when I could go home….. but that didn’t happen right away. Jay came and picked me up and we went to Home Depot to get some stuff for the house. After another 2 hours we got a new mail box, outdoor light, gardening tools, house numbers, and a rake. After we came home we spent another two hours working on the front yard. It’s looking a lot better. Next weekend I want to get some proper soil for the gardens and start preparing. I’ve never garden before so I want to do it right. We’re also looking into patio stones for the one section of our backyard. So much work…… but it’ll be worth it.

Anyways I’m back at work today from 9-4. Then this week I work Mon, Tues, Thurs, Sat, and Sun. *breathes* I am really happy I’m getting the hours, and I love working there, it’s just all the stuff outside of work I have to manage as well. I have to find a sitter for Tues (since it’s through the day and Jay’s at work), get us an appointment to do our taxes, go to the library with the kids, and sometime in there I need to see a dentist and get my one tooth removed…. Well at least I’m not bored anymore lol. Tonight after work I just want to tidy a little bit and then do a whole lot of nothing….. hopefully. Byes for now.

Well yesterday was my birthday. I am now the big 23 lol. It was quiet but still ended up being one of the best birthdays ever! And it was all thanks to my husband. We have our hard moments (like any relationship) but it’s things like yesterday that just make everything ok

It started Saturday night when he gave me my first gift. He got me an Access Pass for my favourite site, IMVU! Now for those who don’t know what that is…. it’s a pass to the adult content on a 3D avatar site. It’s not what you think, well it is but that’s not why I got it. The site is for people 13 and over and they’ve been cracking down on the content, making it more PG. Now with this pass I have access to swearing, gory, smoking, and other content I usually wouldn’t. It just makes things more fun. Of course there are still rules and etiquette, but now my avi can smoke like I do, hehehe.

Then Yesterday it was perfect from morning to night. Jay woke me up with breakfast in bed and coffee. It was sooo sweet. Then he had to go out to get the rest of my gifts. He is very last minute for everything, but always comes through lol. While he was out he told me to call and set up a time with my friend from up the street. He actually contacted her and invited her over for coffee! He’s not overly social with my friends, so this was really thoughtful of him. (She ended up not making it cause she had to babysit, which was alright) Then he gave me my gifts when he got back They came in a pretty little silver bag with black paper. I got the newest issue of Gothic Beauty Magazine, the first two seasons of Titus, and a Timmys card (A debit like card for coffee, to clarify for people not around here lol). And the card he gave me was so beautiful. Then he cooked dinner all by himself. He made chicken and rice. And he got two cream pies and brownie ice cream for dessert. We watched Titus till Darien came home and then him and Draven gave me a Karla book (female serial killer from Canada) and a really funny card with a pug on it. It was hilarious cause I got Jay a card with a pug on it this year for his birthday, but lost it and haven’t given it to him yet lol. I also got phone calls and messages from friends and family. All and all it was a perfect birthday

Tonight I’m working. My last shift was really cool. I got to work with the fish, we got a new shipment that needed to be put in the tanks. I was nervous cause I’ve never handled fish, but it turned out not to be that hard. Well the thing that is hard though is we carry over 200 species and some of them are very sensitive and have to be put in the tanks a certain way. The one person I worked with was really good and could tell the difference by the glancing at the name of the fish….. something I guess I will learn with time. Tonight I’m working with my manager on the floor again. I think because I’m there till close I’ll be learning the closing techniques. I hope so. I just love it there. Everyone I work with is really cool. The one manager was quizing me on stuff and seemed impressed with what I’ve learned. It’s also cool cause everyone working there helps each other out with tips and that. I think I need to work on my dealing with customers more. I tend to get a little nervous and get someone else. I guess it’s good right now while I’m learning but I really want to be able to help too. Anyways I got to go get ready for work so byes for now.

I know, I suck when it comes to updating. But really I’m trying….. I have been writing more on my MySpace. Really I just need to stick to one blog and be done with it. But the good news is that I have been working on actual content for this site so I’m not giving on it yet It may not come out very fast but there is very good reason for that…..

I got a job! Yep, I had my first day today It went really good. I’m a pet care associate for PetSmart. Pretty much my duties will be taking care of the animals (feeding, cleaning, tending to, etc), cleaning and serving customers. I’m just training right now which is a lot of reading. I swear I thought my eyes were going to bleed after the first two hours lol. But it was cool and I actually learned a lot of stuff I didn’t know. Also everyone I work with and my boss are really cool. I’m really pumped about it. I’m so happy I get to work with the animals like I wanted to. The best part of today was watching and talking to the other pet care associate and actually seeing what I’m going to be doing. I can’t wait. Oh and I saw the cutest Bearded Dragon….. maybe something to save up for since I know Jay has wanted one……hmmm maybe lol. Anyways I’m going to try and do a little work on some content so byes for now

I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything anywhere. I’ve been really sad about my lack of interest in my site. Really lately I haven’t had interest in anything, whether it be here, IMVU, or any of the other places I requent. The only thing that entertains me right now is PackRat on FaceBook. That’s how low things are right now…..

Of course, yet again, I am frustrated beyond belief. Just got into an argument with Jay. According to him I don’t spend enough time with him and too much on the computer. Now I know I spend probably too much time on the computer but what the fuck? It’s the only link I have to the outside world and the only thing for myself. I like to think that I’ve been working my fucken ass off. Everyday I clean and cook. I’ve been taking care of the kids and working full time on Darien’s potty training (yes he is finally making progress!!!). I tell Jay I love him every single day. I tell him exactly how I feel and how much he means to me, and it’s still not enough! He said tonight I don’t text him as much. Hmmm, maybe it’s because I’m doing his fucken laundry? I can’t believe this. How much more can I take? It’s just so fucken hard. I’ve been working so hard and it’s not enough. I clean the kitchen everyday and still get comments on how dirty it is. I’ve been trying to plan a romantic night for our upcoming anniversary (which he still likes to remind me it’s not our “wedding” one) and I feel like why bother? Why the fuck should I try at anything if no matter how hard I try, it’s not enough? I’m only one person and I can only handle so much…… Sometimes I really wonder why I’m here…. Yes I love Jay with all my heart, but sometimes I just hate the way he makes me feel. And he doesn’t understand it. The one person in the whole world that I trust and am the most comfortable with also makes me the the most insecure and worthless. He implied that I wasn’t trying to make things better between us… If only he knew just how much I think about him everyday, how much I cry about him everyday, and how much I love him. Maybe then I might be good enough.

Well it’s almost 1 in the morning and I can’t sleep, even though I’m exhausted. It’s also our last night in our apartment. Come tomorrow night, we will be sleeping in our own home. I’m just a bunch of emotions right now. I’m excited and happy, but also sad and scared. I usually love change, even crave it. But I’ve become to comfy and happy, that the idea of changing anything worried me. There are a lot of benefits to this move, without a doubt. The room, convience, opportunities, etc. But still everything in me is just going astray…..

A huge thing about this move though, is my hope and goals to find some balance in my life. Like I said, things are comfy now, but I want more. Come March I will be working (even if I have to kill someone and become a hitman lol). I want more structure. I want to spend more time actually doing things that will benefit me and my family. I want to not only set goals but achieve them. It’s going to be scary and sometimes suck, but it’s what I need to do. It’s what I want.

I also hope to spend more time on this site once things are settled. Not an insane amount, just a little hobby to keep me occupied. I also know writing really helps me and that is something I know I need to continue. This is something that is important to me, and I want to put in the time it deserves.

So hopefully this will be the last gap before the next update/entry. Once we’re moved and settled in, you should here more from me. Byes for now.

Somebody fucken shoot me! I feel so much like shit right now. My legs ache, I’m exchausted, and I’m possibly having the worse PMS of my life. Oh and to top it off neither one of my kids would nap today so they’re wired and cranky!!! Jay should be home in 20 minutes and I’m counting the seconds right now. Of course I can’t relax cause the second he comes in the door we have to bus all the way to fucken Waterloo for an appointment. I’m going to bed tonight at 7 pm, no matter what. The second the kids are in bed, so am I.

I’m alive! Barely….lol. Things have been insane of course. But going really great. Only one more appointment this week (with the insurance people) and then we see the lawyers on Thurs. That day we sign the final papers and then get the keys to our first home!!!!! I can’t fricken wait, I’m so excited. We still have a lot of packing and work to do, but we’ve gotten a lot done. I really thank Jay for that. I’m really bad for putting things off but he’s made sure we stay on track. Tomorrow I’m going to start packing the kitchen and taping up packed boxes. This weekend we can start taking stuff to the new place. We went last week to get measurements. We also got pictures and hopefully I’ll get the up soon.

Also one project I really want to get done for this site is to add a gallery. There is one I want to use, I’m having issues with, it just won’t work. If anyone knows of a gallery plugin, or program that is easy to use and looks good, please let me know Byes for now.

Now I’ve been neglectful lately with the site (with good reason of course). So I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when I was nominated for Workerbee and won Bee of the Week, all in the same week! For those of you who don’t know what this means; I’m part of the Quilting Bee, a cute little pixel trading club. I couldn’t believe it It’s just really nice that people actually noticed my site and quilt. *Big Smiles*

Other than things have been ok. I’ve been spending a lot of time on IMVU. I guess it’s just random fun…. in a way I’ve also been avoiding this site. I know that sounds bad…. it’s just hard. I want to work on it but can’t think of anything really I want to add. Hmmm…. I’ve actually thought of adding some IMVU stuff, like tutorials and graphics. I know not a lot of people would be into that, but it’s something I really enjoy…. so maybe I’ll try it out Anyways byes for now, and thank you Quilting Bee!

Well not sure if anyone remembers, but my husband and I bought a home. Well moving day is coming upon us very fast. And everyday there are at least 5 things that need to be done in preparation.

Today I need to register Darien for school. I called yesterday which wasn’t the greatest of calls. I don’t know if he’ll be able to be put in the morning class. This is an issue cause afternoon classes… well just suck when it comes to managing appointments and about everything else. Also if Darien is in the afternoon class we can’t go to group anymore which would really suck. And on top of all that he would be thrown back into a JK/SK split class which would put him in the same position he is in now. Not something I want to go through again….

So we’ll have to see what happens. And of course to register him I need a little piece of paper that has been packed and we can’t find worth shit. So I have to go to his school now early and hope they have a copy that would suffice. Even if they could transfer things that would be great, but I’m not going to hold my breathe.

I am so fucken tired. I have not been sleeping well at all. I’m sure it’s just me worrying about anything and everything. There’s just still so much to do and I just want this to be over….

So I’m sure you can understand why I haven’t been updating. It really sucks when I think about it. I don’t even remember the last thing I added to this site. I always wanted my own domain and now that I have it, I don’t use it. Well hopefully that will change. I really want to get back into it, it’s just hard right now cause I don’t have the drive. It’s enough work just trying to stay awake all day Anyways that’s my little rant and now I must prepare for my day. Joy oh fucken joy!